Your iPhone has been kidnapped. I need sustenance and you need your phone back.

This sounds like a serious cause. Better give some money fast.

Just hope this isn't a male.

Now that you mentioned it, I'm not sure what they are.

I've heard about diving in pools, but in the bathtub?

Just in case you want to share your special shitty moment with a friend. Nothing too awkward.

I present to you my kid.

I just need to finish debugging this file and I'll catch the wave. But first, science.

I told you over and over again to watch out for the sofa crack.

Wouldn't you know it? Being happy was always about alcohol.