I present to you my kid.
Look at this... Awesome dog, he's the most awesome dog.
This dog is awesome, he's the king of dogs. He's living the dog dream, as you can see.
Hurry!!! Save yourselves, can't you read? Unattended children will be given to the Goblin King.
So... Let me introduce you to Parrot King!
I don't need no fancy sportscar. I can have my slaves carry me.
Ever heard of king Tut's faithful servant, king Mutt?