I knew I shouldn't have listened to you and just forward that chain email back in '08. Now look how lonely I am.

This happens when you wash your tie one time too many.

Girls, stop imagining stuff. Real men cook meth.

My puns are so lame that she doesn't carrot all.

Lonely socks wall. The place where all socks are left to rest in peace, alone.

What other people think web designers look like at their jobs.

My job is very depressing. And my puns are just as much.

Another politically correct way to call someone an aircraft carrier.

You think your butt is too flat? Why not come here so we can show you how you can pump up that booty.

In Venice every exit is a fire exit.