Jack made it to the news again. This time Heywood Jablome has a competitor.

Jesus, please go to aisle 9, Jesus go to aisle 9. There is some leftover water that needs to be made into wine.

The old extinguisher always expired and needed replacement. Luckily, this bottle of water can bee replenished easily and cheaply.

I don't believe anything. I came here to see some good old fashioned beatings and some blood. I need adrenaline!

Take those 3 easy steps and you can be on your way to make millions.

Come right up and take our anti fat elixir. It's legit!

Well, there is no use wasting paper to write another name. Think of the trees!

Poor girl will regret the day she married Mr L.

I knew I shouldn't have listened to you and just forward that chain email back in '08. Now look how lonely I am.

This happens when you wash your tie one time too many.