I really wanted a cat on my car and this cute Jaguar was sitting on somebody's car.

The perfect gift that will make any women burst into tears. Then slap you.

Stop panicking and wishing you had studied before. God is now your only hope.

Grabbing the perfect photo at the very last time he was sleeping peacefully. I'm guessing the water was also cold as hell.

Facebook should really look into adding different hand gestures to posts. Sometimes I really need to mark something that rocks.

Want to get younger? Just shave your beard and you'll get 20 years back. Men only!

We must make sure that anybody parking here is disabled. It's nothing personal, it's just how things work.

Should we keep Matthew's birthday video or would you like to record Ghostbusters?

Listen, human! I don't want you leaving any fruits inside MY bowl. I hope you enjoy the banana I've sat on!

Don't ever let women do a man's job. This is the result.