Every time those damn telemarketers call you just use this proven tactic.

He's just living his life to the fullest.

You meant out of children's reach. Right?

I love education, but my humongous muscles are way more importanter then my education.

Buy a bottle for your mom on mother's day this year. You should because you made her that way!

So how are we going to take this ladder home? Just place it in the car? Are you sure it will fit in?

One of the reasons I hated when dad took me out on a bike ride.

And this is how you invite a fat chick to prom. Guaranteed to work 100%.

Women have a logic beyond logic when it comes to bathing suits and lingerie.

You kind of feel sorry for the guy.