Remember to apply the sun cream evenly all over your face. Or else end up looking like this girl.

Got to keep everything nice and tidy in my hood. These streets ain't going to clean themselves.

This book should go in the "how to be creepy" tutorial aisle.

Probably those bathroom mirror stickers shouldn't be placed all over the place. Somebody might get a bad idea.

We are looking for a suspect. We know he is black. Give us some tips and we'll get right over and arrest this guy.

Who needs laser pointers when you can have huge sticks in the classroom?

Ever seen those irritating pieces of advice about life that everybody is sharing on Facebook? Well, here's how you can put them to good use.

Dear God, why do you have to be like this? Everybody is beautiful and I'm ugly. Either make me beautiful too or I'm not talking to you anymore.

Good evening Mr. Bond, I've been expecting you. Don't worry, there won't be any laser pointers this time. I've learned my lesson.

So now we can't even take a dump without our MacBooks on our laps.