Cupcakes: the number 1 reason people are happy. And are fat.

But first, let me take a selfie with shelf E.

Go on, jump. You are almost there. Almost.

You think anybody will notice? This glass is as good as new now.

Good thing we took care of that great big hole by pouring asphalt on top.

If your family is weird, you have no idea what the Schitts had to endure.

Guess what I was going to use at the supermarket today to buy some more dog food. Unfortunately, I won't be able to until the bank issues another credit card next month. Guess again who will have to eat leftovers until then.

Why would you need to spend extra money on a new piece of hardware when you can simply use a phone and duct tape. Remember, duct tape fixed everything.

He was probably wearing this shirt and wanted to get in trouble just for somebody else to grab this priceless photo of him getting arrested.

Got to get my girlfriend one of these dresses. She will be the life of any party.