Guess what I was going to use at the supermarket today to buy some more dog food. Unfortunately, I won't be able to until the bank issues another credit card next month. Guess again who will have to eat leftovers until then.

Why would you need to spend extra money on a new piece of hardware when you can simply use a phone and duct tape. Remember, duct tape fixed everything.

He was probably wearing this shirt and wanted to get in trouble just for somebody else to grab this priceless photo of him getting arrested.

Got to get my girlfriend one of these dresses. She will be the life of any party.

This guy deserves to have his bike stolen. If basic geometry and physics is not something he mastered before riding a bike then it's too late.

Why not take the whole gas station home with you?

Someone better call an ambulance in like one second.

So the cat seems to like the new MacBook.

You just can't go to school and learn how to be a mechanic. It is something that you are born with.

Now even crows have urgent petitions that need signing.