Just take your girlfriend's iPad and rearrange those icons.

We're not doing anything until you get a condiment!

Be the chick that wears this shirt to a party. You will get laid guaranteed.

Now I just got to find a girl that has the same interest and I'm done.

Gentleman, want to try out other possibilities? Just try giving your lady a diamond and see what happens.

I couldn't care less. It's still called a mouse so I'm fine with it.

Someone is probably going to get fired after this stunt.

Unfortunately it's true. We are going to have a talk about this, Jesus.

Guess what time it is. We have to get going right now.

Look what happened to my hand? How am I supposed to get some now?