You know it's been a hard year and I'm not doing great with my finances. Also, you could lose some weight, dear.

We taught our daughter that drinking is very important. She hasn't forgotten after all these years.

As they say, the bigger the medallion, the more manly you are. No man, that's not a rim, that's my medallion.

Ever wondered why is an Xbox "bricked" when it's no longer working? Because you can use it as a brick.

The guy who laid out the plan for this bathroom was either too drunk or too stingy.

No, please. You can keep my wheel, I was going to throw it away anyway.

Seems that some worker at the local sports shop has been living under a rock all his life.

I ain't never going to be out of toilet paper. Never again!

Now with all the NSA stuff going on, you can be sure nobody ever feels lonely again.

Finally the British and the French decided to move the Eiffel tower in London.