You better make sure you succeed the first time you jump. Otherwise we don't want you around here anymore.

Imagine that they needed to put this sign up. I wouldn't want to meet any Magic: The Gathering players.

This damn package made me lose half of the uranium in a little over 4 billion years. Would recommend a more secure package.

Check out van Damme's new ham! Thus might help you make the most epic of splits.

Pit bull with AIDS sticker is the perfect burglar deterrent I have yet to come up with.

Our studies have confirmed that children are people too. That is just in case you were thinking that kids do not add weight to the elevator.

Does it happen to everybody who shaves?

Keep your drinks safe from our cat.

Be sure to keep the potato hidden. And also wash your hands.

Don't want to move your car? No worries, we will just work around it.