What would be more thoughtful as a Valentine's gift than this exquisite hammer?

Valentines is approaching so you better prepare your thoughtful gift for your significant other.

Now you can get even a broken heart cookie. For your forever alone time.

My Valentine this year got herself a nice present.

Better burn away 100 dollars and do something else with your time than spend it on Valentine's gifts.

Get ready to embrace yourself because nobody else will do it.

Of course I do have a date? What do you take me for? A moron?

What am I doing on February the 14th? Well I'm doing legs. I don't want to skip leg day or else I'll look silly like the rest of the guys on the Interwebs.

I Am My Own Valentine forever alone

Valentine's Day is coming soon, embrace yourselves. I forgot again to get a girlfriend.