What I really want for Valentine's is some time together with you. Or just sex.

I ended up going to Burger King for Valentine's. Sadly, my date was not impressed.

It takes a geek to write this and another geek to understand it's real meaning.

For the romantic fat-ass that you really are.

Happy Valentine's! Now move your ass and clean up the house.

Even if everybody died because of your physical appearance, I'd still love you.