Admit it. You do this all the time and you know it.

So, Mr Pigeon, how many hours of flight did you say you had until now?

The poor family dog had to endure all this humiliation until the parents got home.

I got the tallest Christmas tree on my street. And I got it already setup and powered.

You don't want to mess with the police medic. He will beat the health out of you.

Once I ran out of toilet paper when using the John. This will certainly never happen again. Ever.

You got to be in tone with the surrounding environment. Even in a hospital on Christmas eve.

No more wrapping paper available? There's nothing that a pen won't do to help you.

Make sure that everybody else thinks you are a redneck with lots of beer and ammo. And pit bulls. Lots of bloody pit bulls.

I found your stack of money with the rubber band. Just thought I would do the right thing and return the rubber band to it's rightful owner.