Once I ran out of toilet paper when using the John. This will certainly never happen again. Ever.

You got to be in tone with the surrounding environment. Even in a hospital on Christmas eve.

No more wrapping paper available? There's nothing that a pen won't do to help you.

Make sure that everybody else thinks you are a redneck with lots of beer and ammo. And pit bulls. Lots of bloody pit bulls.

I found your stack of money with the rubber band. Just thought I would do the right thing and return the rubber band to it's rightful owner.

Everything in this store is just 99c. Or less. Or up.

Gotye has become just somebody that we used to know.

Do you really want to make the biggest mistake of your life and become a vegetarian? You will most certainly miss the steak.

I don't know who that belongs to, but certainly it isn't mine.

If you make any typo whatsoever, you have just let the errorists win. Remember that.