I wanted a chair to sit on so I bought one.

So how many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I bet you weren't expecting this number, were you?

My girlfriend is waiting for you and I cannot please her.

Let's have a good look at that ass. Errr... what I meant to say wash ladies first!

A word of advice: oil is hot and you skin does not react nicely to hot oil.

No, we do not have crappy apartments! Why would you think that?

Your pocket will show you the way to tie a knot.

Every time I open a pack they all come rushing towards me.

Have the morals of a man? Then we have some bad news for you.

I believe that my father is on to me.