Pants are so last Tuesday. Now I get a long sleeve with a tiny pair of underwear.

There were too many complaints of babies crying in the dumpster so this label was introduced.

Either get a new laptop or be prepared to dig in your dog's droppings.

What the hell am I supposed to do with this error? If the monitor was not plugged in would I even see it?

I'm lazy so I find the simplest solutions to my problems.

Look at my awesome body at the beach.

An awesome book.

Hey, just relax, come to us and get yourself some sushi. Eat like a boss.

And in case of emergencies, you can also use this to poke people.

One of the rare moments you wish you had a regular car instead of a sportscar.