We interrupt this program to give you the latest developments: it seems that the president is going to get something to eat. Stay tuned as we unveil his food preferences.

How to tell if he's a keeper.

Don't worry, I've fixed the AC in the car. It has a nice steampunk theme to it.

You better not flush down all your hopes and dreams down this toilet.

Buying a house? Why don't you buy this one and get a free pizza? Trust us, nothing would be better.

This is what a relaxed office sounds like. I better send them my resume.

Trees are so useless. If only they had WiFi so I could check my Facebook.

Have nothing to talk about? Why peel off this label when you can talk about that huge tuna you've caught with your bare hands?

No matter what you've forgotten, nobody could top the guy that ran off, leaving his wife at the gas station.

We want a Taco Bell to be built here! If not, be prepared.