What starts hard, stays hard. Be a hard member of team Morningwood!

At least I got my priorities straight. I'll use my dog to track down the wife.

So my tire had a small puncture. No worries, zip ties fixed everything.

In case you want to pursue a career in human trafficking, we have just the right course for you.

We ain't got no advertising ideas, so we'll just go ahead with this.

We have plenty of water. In solid state. Surrounded by whiskey. The perfect kind of water.

Now I can watch my girlfriend taking a dump right in front of me. How convenient!

So you want Internet access today? You better do these chores if you want to see any WiFi password from your parents.

Seems that our old toys just don't cut it anymore.

Having a beard is awesome. Having to brush your teeth every morning with a beard is not.