Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Abraham Drinkin'.

Remember to hug your toilet more often and not only when drunk.

Your little drinking problem is getting ridiculously small. You can't keep drinking like this for the rest of your life!

When you get so drunk that you need help from others to keep your head up, that is when you have hit rock bottom.

Want to make your phone disappear overnight? Just grab it on the way to the pub and make sure at least 15 beers end up on your tab.

Judging a woman by her appearance is wrong. But judging her by what she drinks at the bar is spot on.

You can't enjoy a decent rodeo without having a beer pouch on your belly.

There is a slight chance this could be vodka. It probably isn't but you can never tell.

Ever seen an angry stoned person? They just stop and wait for the sign to get green. No harm there apart from being a pain for the guys behind him.

If you thought you could handle any drink, why not try out a vodka watered down with tequila? Guaranteed to get you a hellish hangover.