Hmm... oh hi dad, you're on Facebook.. WTF?!

Ice-cream.... Haha! WHY SO DELICIOUS?

Now that's one good way to get a massage from your kids. Awesome dad!

Now that's one awesome cat, living like a boss. Good job, kitty!

I had to stay today at home. My bed wasn't feeling okay so I had to stay home and take care of it.

The worst weapon created by mankind. Forever.

I drink in Moderation. Moderation is an imaginary place. Cool or what?!

Arghh, retard alert. He's doing that face again, isn't he? Okay, come here, I'm gonna kick your.......

Why are you here? Pour me some coffee and get away, nice and easy.

Just like Barney Stinson would say.... Hmm... WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!