I feel much safer knowing that he is around and able to protect me from others.

I dare you to take this shirt and go order something at Starbucks.

What? Those are not mine. I have no idea how they managed to get there.

It's not what it looks like. They just stayed in the sun too much, that's all.

It seems some ghosts are wondering about. Should you come across any of them, please inform us and we will handle it somehow.

Don't ever park in that place, man.

If you are wearing this shirt just imagine that every time your friends come across some poop, the first thing they'll look at is you.

Every time I sleep with another woman I have to wear this dumb sign and walk all over the place.

I finally got my manly nipples tattooed on my chest.

Under no circumstances shall anybody ever change the temperature to anything other than 72 degrees.