Come here and we'll get you a free one way trip to heaven. Just pledge to donate all your belongings to us and step right in.

Honey, can you give me that new shirt for church this Sunday? Yes, that's the one!

Just got to get home and begin my new novel on Satan's typewriter.

It seems that somebody's payers are too damn effective.

This ain't Peter's. Then who owns it?

If God says it's in, then it's in. Can't argue with that.

What kinky stuff does happen inside this church anyway?

We have a message but you need to come inside for it. Great trick for converting, right?

Get a quick appointment with Jesus by texting. You can even bring your friends from your car with you.

Feeding starving children in Africa is less important than building a church arena.