Good thing I was able to find jeans with bigger pockets, otherwise I would have had to get fat.

We have had it with guns and grenades here. And lately the farts haven't been a pleasant sight either.

I used to believe there was no god. That was before I discovered what I was capable in bed.

Make sure you don't dive here. The water may be shallow. You don't want to end up like the last guy.

I have finally reached level 99. I am her best friend ever!

The coding must not stop. I must find a way to keep everything cool.

We all have a friend who takes off his shirt and starts acting like a gorilla in the club.

Ever noticed how every UFO ever caught on camera is about 5 pixels wide. Now you know why.

Get you free chicken strips here. Only two left.

This big boy right here made my cry a river and to add insult to injury it also broke my favorite knife.