My Valentine this year got herself a nice present.

Is grandma taking eye selfies again? Or is she still learning how to hold the camera?

Don't have the proper batteries for this remote? No problem, just hand me that tin foil and take notes.

Sitting at this table with a hot ass can prove to be a little embarrassing.

Man, you got to go to the bathroom to see the log I just took. It is AMAZING!

You got to protect your fast food at all costs nowadays. Those bike thieves are getting hungry.

This dog is not the smartest guy when it comes to hiding.

Just got to get home and begin my new novel on Satan's typewriter.

Keep in mind. If your wife does not iron properly then she most likely was a man.

It's just like regular football, but the players need to keep their hands on the pipes.