Still half my age, even when I'm 70! I would like to be aging that way too.

Another politically correct way to call someone an aircraft carrier.

Why bother to please everybody when you can piss off everybody?

Spelling is definitely easy. If you now it.

Drowning is extremely easy. Just watch a kid do it. If he can, you can!

Now that's another way of saying something really stupid on television. So, dear madam, how about that... 'school two easy' ?